Archive for February, 2005

Lessons from a Two-Year-Old…

Author: admin

Feb 25

Over the last several days, I have been privileged to be instructed in the ways of the world by a mind so uncluttered that my perspectives have likely been forever changed. I’m speaking of course, of my two-year-old son Aidan.

It all started when Jonathan (my older son, or as some know him Mini-Me) was kept at the AI DuPont Hospital for Children for a three-day stay. Jonathan was born with a rare and serious blood disease called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH) which nearly took him from us shortly after he was born. Thanks to the responsive and meticulous care of the Hematology and Oncology staff at AI, he recently celebrated his 5th birthday with us in December. However, as this disease is not clinically curable, whenever Jonathan develops any inexplicable or significant medical symptoms he’s carefully checked for any potential re-involvement of the ailment. Therefore, when he started showing flu symptoms and his blood counts were suspiciously low last week, back to AI he went. With Shannon staying close to Jonathan’s side, my attentions were now redirected to care for our younger son (and future NFL linebacker), Aidan.

To any of you that don’t know us, my wife and I very definitely have his-and-hers children. Jonathan, in a nutshell, is me. I understand nearly everything he does and why he does it. Aidan however, is a male version of Shannon with a slightly destructive twist. Don’t get me wrong, I love both my children to no end. However, sometimes I have problems relating to the thought processes that dictate Aidan’s actions. He’s a wonderful child with an incredibly warm heart and a seemingly endless reserve of energy. It’s just that his methods for getting from point A to point B sometimes serve to confuse me completely. Therefore, while I was in sole custody of this little enigma I took the opportunity to carefully follow and analyze some of his daily routines. From this, I learned some important things.

Let’s call this list “Everything I need to know, I learned from my two year old” (Ok, so it’s not terribly original, but you get the reference.)

  1. An object is not necessarily made from the sum of it’s component parts. In fact, it’s very likely that if you smash it repeatedly into something else, it will have a whole new set of parts you knew nothing about.
  2. Poop is funny stuff. In fact, it’s even funnier if you squish it around until it’s coming out of every seam of the diaper trying to contain it.
  3. A child’s hearing ability is inversely proportional to how badly they really want to do something they aren’t supposed to.
  4. An item’s original intention is never as interesting as the myriad of things you can make it do outside those boundaries.
  5. The word “No” can be an entire language onto itself if said with varied volumes, tones and facial expressions.
  6. Perpetual Motion can be achieved through the right balance of chocolate milk and mac-and-cheese.
  7. Computer wires look exactly like the ropes that “Dora the Explorer” uses to swing across rivers and such.
  8. Drawing and coloring should never be restricted to something as unimaginative as paper.
  9. Do everything with a sickeningly cute smile and 9 out of 10 times you’ll get away with it. On the 10th time, run faster than daddy.

And I’m learning more every day…

God I love my kids.

Phil Malmstrom
philm@mycoffeecuphasfeet.com

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  • Filed under: General Rantings...

    • And let the ranting begin…

    Author: admin

    Feb 8

    I‘ve finally come to the conclusion that like spandex pants, email should be a privilege, not a right.While reading one of the many emails I receive each day, it struck me that aside from the obvious spam problems that plague all our lives, even reading valid email has become painful. The problem stems from the fact that most people are completely oblivious as to the proper way to converse with each other over electronic mail. Whether it’s “YELLING”, bizarre HTML backgrounds or just a lack of grammar and etiquette, email has been turned into the effective equivalent of street talk on the net. Educated professionals who would never consider sending out a letter to anyone without following stringent format and structure guidelines seemingly have no compunction whatsoever against sending out business email with no greeting, and in many cases no closing signature. (Our English teachers are rolling in their graves…) To assist with the further edification of the general public, I’ve comprised a quick (not all-inclusive) list of some do’s and don’ts for email correspondence. (Yes, I’m really this anal) After reading this, I’d love to hear about other email “peeves” that any of you might have so I can add to my list.

    • First off, it only takes a few seconds to type a one line greeting. For example, “Good morning John.”. This starts the note off on a good foot and acknowledges that you at least thought about them a little and not just what you were writing about.
    • The subject line in an email is not an optional field. Please put a reasonable, carefully worded subject in the message. It will not only help the message avoid being trapped in a spam filter, but it will be more likely to be easily flagged by the intended recipient.
    • Please, please, please don’t use HTML backgrounds for your emails. For those on other platforms, with limited bandwidth, or just with bad eyes, the backgrounds do nothing but distract from the message. If what you have to say is boring enough that you feel a need to distract the reader, then for God’s sake don’t send it.
    • We all had some form of English training during our youth; Use it. Proof-read your outgoing mail before clicking <Send> and you’ll find you catch mistakes before you echo them to the world.
    • Don’t SHOUT. Sending a message in ALL CAPS is the Internet equivalent of shouting at the recipient.
    • A formal signature is a quick, easy way of closing the message. It also helps to separate business from personal correspondence by indicating whether you were sending the message as the member of an organization or not.
    • Attachments should be used sparingly. I have one customer who insists on sending a screen shot with every email adding 200K+ to each message, usually with no immediate benefit. Save everyone’s bandwidth, and don’t add files unless it’s absolutely necessary.

    Ok. It’s getting late so that’s all I have for the moment on this one. Your comments and additions are welcomed.

    Phil Malmstrom
    philm@mycoffeecuphasfeet.com
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  • Filed under: General Rantings...