I hate my grass.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I actually hate the ridiculous effort I’m required to spend mowing, trimming, edging, watering, feeding and maintaining my grass on a weekly basis (Ok, well it would be weekly if it would stop raining every time I have time to mow). I’m firmly convinced that my recent blood pressure issues are a direct result of my knowledge that the grass is growing while I’m not looking.

And then there are the neighbors’ lawns. I live in a neighborhood whose residents seem to revolve their lives around mowing their lawns. Between the empty-nesters and the “make my own schedule, need to find a real job” people, they can make the lawn a priority with no real impact on their lives. Personally, I think they do it just to piss me off.

Unfortunately, there really isn’t an answer to it I’m afraid. I’ve broached the subject of Astroturf or paving the entire yard with my Wife, with a less than positive response. I’ve made things a little easier with more and more powerful (eg. more fun) lawn care machines, but the toil continues.

Have I mentioned that I hate my grass…

Phil Malmstrom
philm@mycoffeecuphasfeet.com

To paraphrase an old joke, “A Windows PC is like an erection;  It stays up until you screw with it.”

No, I’m not trying to start a “Windows versus the World” flame war, I’m just getting tired of spending my waking hours cleaning up the messes caused by the rapid proliferation of the spyware, malware and viruses that fill the Windows world. The worst part is while I fully believe the authors of this electronic “creeping crud” should be hung upside down by their toenails over a vat of boiling oil, I’m just as frustrated by the clueless users who know this danger exists but refuse to accept the responsibility of protecting against it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that every Windows user who’s been infected with spyware is at fault. In fact, it’s become almost a given that some level of infestation will occur when traversing the vastness that is today’s Internet. The ones I have a problem with are those people that have been adequately warned and still don’t follow common sense guidelines that could keep them out of trouble. Combine that with incredible growth in broadband Internet access and the alarming trend towards remarkably untrained technical support staff in the computer industry and you have a recipe for disaster (or at the very least a bunch of hosed up computers).

What’s the solution?  Well, if I had that answer I’d be rich and probably wouldn’t be spouting off here. I do know that at my office we’re seeing a significant interest from clients in other platforms such as Mac OSX and Linux. Hopefully Microsoft is taking notes…

Phil Malmstrom
philm@mycoffeecuphasfeet.com